levitation ( a bit )

well, i think everyone must haf known this trick.
but i just wanna give it a shot.
and i failed miserably thou.
but here it is.
i video cam myself.
i've got no mirror in my room k.
so no other choice.












sleep tight princess.

R.I.P

to the girl that fell down from sun plaza.
a popular mall in medan.
rest in peace.
may you be welcomed by the hands of god.

from what i've heard is that...
she committed suicide.
but what was reported was she fell down.

her brain matter come out.
head split.

and honestly,
i don't freaking dare to see the pic myself.

and according to andrias,
her pants were unzip.
and i don't know why.


anyways,
rest in peace.









waiting for you princess,
with love :)

rumblings

i think i look terribly fucking dumb here !

anyway,
emo entry ahead.
and i guess it's kinda long too.


mother's intuition.
a few days back,
when i was feeling damn down and lonely.
when these eyes were teary.
when i was lost.
not knowing what to do.
it was about 2 or 3 am.
mum was asleep as usual.
but she woke up somehow.
msged me.
telling me she woke up out of the blue.
feeling uneasy.
she knows i was quarreling wif princess.
she asked me how were i feeling.
she felt my pain too i guess.
we're distance apart.
but she felt it.
it woke her up.
the tears flow down.
i love you mum.

may be,
without princess.
mum and i wouldn't have been as close as we are today.
and i want to thank you for that princess.

you know,
every single time we're not on good terms.
every single time i feel lonely.
every night when i wait for you...

i don't know why,
but my mind.
it's like a time machine.
it'll bring me back to those times.
to those memories of us.
those wonderful.
sweet memories of us together.
i don't remember all the bad events.
i can't remember them.
it'll travel me back.
it's as if i were there.
watching us.
feeling how i felt at that time.
i still get those fast heart beats when i think of that night.
when i first told you the 3 words.

sometimes...
all those things brings me pain.
we've been all these.
it was so beautiful.
but why must we still be like now ?
i feel so far apart.
it's as thou the distance between us is not far enough.
we were never like this before.
the way we communicate.
we were so much closer.

sometimes....
i'd just smile to myself.
it's like,
when i see those pictures on my walls.
i'd remember what happened at that time.
some words that we said at that time.
i'd smile....

and every single night.
when i lay back on the pillow.
when i stare at these 4 walls that stare back at me.
when i stare up at the ceiling.
my mind will bring me back to yet another trip.
from the time we got close...
to today.
it's all us.
a journey of our story.
i remember them all princess.


i remember...


the stars that i made for you.
thou i wished i'd had given them to you later.
but i promised to give them to you on that day.
don't feel quite nice.
the atmosphere wasn't there.
nevertheless,
i know you're happy.
the smile on you face told me so.
and i'm happy.

i remember..

you wore this shirt to your school farewell performance.
i can't believe myself then.
you and your friends will practise,
while i sat there at the changing room sewing your shirt.
i never regretted them.
but still,
i can't believe i did such a thing.

and then,
i remember...



the night of the candles.
you were speechless.
it was like in the movie ain't it ?
we had dinner by the candles.
i fed you.
and we were there.
dancing under the night sky.
with the moon and the stars above our heads.
wasn't it beautiful ?
it was the night i first told you the 3 words.
i remembered every sentence i said.
and the way you looked back at me.
speechless.

that was before we were even together.

i'd fetch you from school.
and we'll just drive around town.
chatting in the car.
just driving around.
i can't even remember when did i first began seeing you every single night.
going over your place every night.
calling you every night.
even skipping class just to see you.
have that few hours of chat.

then when we got together.

it was time for me to leave.
i promised i'd come back to you.
and i shed my blood for you.
you sucked those blood later.
i did go back for you didn't i princess ?


everything moved so fast yea ?





after 6 months apart,
we finally meet again.
it was my first visit to jakarta for you.
i got out late.
you, 2jie and 1jie fetched me.
then on the way out of the airport.
you all went dropped by kfc to get dinner.
remember ?
you and 1jie went down leaving me with 2jie in the car.

3 months later,
i went back to see you again for the second time.

we bowled.
we quarreled too.
i was upset you were busy with your school.
and i'm still sorry.
i still felt the guilt for being so sensitive.
and it was my first time leaving you alone.
let's wish i'd never do that again k.
i better not.

then it's one year already.
we had our dinner.


you looked so beautiful by the candles.



and we finally went to the beach together.





it's been a long journey.
and it's gonna be longer.
i hope you could hold on.
i promised you when we got together,
that everything will turn out just fine.
it did.
for the year.
i was surprised when my parents too are so supporting.
again,
everything will turn out just fine princess.
it will.

it's these memories that had kept me fighting.
those short journey my memories take me every night before i sleep.
these memories that shoot back to me whenever i need you.
it's you.
that i've been thinking of every single day.
every single night.
and i never want to lose them.

the past weeks were tough.
i know,
we were both hurt.
but it's time to move on too.
no matter how much i miss the way we used to be.
no matter how i hope,
that when you pick up the phone...
we'd sound back like we used to.
no matter how my heart tears listening to us sounding like today.
i know...
it'd take time.

i don't wanna lose these memories just like that princess.
no....
i want to create more memories for you and i.
i want our story to be a wonderful and beautiful one.
and i'm not ready to end them yet.
i want...
when we both are old,
together or not...
we could look back at them.
and smile at how amazing those times had been.

no matter what.
i still love you.
and i'm falling in love with you all over again time after time.
i need you in my life princess.
you changed me.
to the better.
i miss....
our those times.
being close.
and being together.

extremely ultra retarded cz.

simply so retarded.

btw,

happy bdae nige.

missing you badly.

wish i could b there for you.

yoshiki

HOLY HEAVEN !
yoshiki has a myspace !
OMFG.
and he kinda blogs in it
OMFG !
oh man...

http://www.myspace.com/violetuk




glad we're fine now princess.
need you.

when heaven and hell collides

u gotta ivew the larger version to see better.
the quality sucked after i compressed it.

larger : http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f316/herbertism/heavenandhelllarger.jpg


love the sky man.
and the sky is taken by me !
yes yes.
i took it myself with my cam !

and here's a spastic cz.
really spastic.



mad fella.


and i think i'm going mad too.





when everything else changes.
after all these....
these 3 words will remains.
i love you, princess.

if...

jilly,
don't ever blame yourself for whatever happens to me after this night.
you're forever my princess.
always.
this heart belongs to you only.

waiting...

behind this smiling face
is a man in agony.
screaming.
in his tears,
he waits for you to be home.
for you,
to be where you used to be.
for us,
to be like how it all was.
for this heart,
to be together again....






there is you,
in everything i see princess.





waiting....
always,



99 balloons filling up my room.
you were so happy =)
can't forget those smile...



our one year dinner.
candles in my room.
you said i was mad.
but you were happy nonetheless.



the candles still burned nicely even in the day.
cuddling by the candles.
happiest moment i could ever asked for.






needing your hug.
badly.

spidey 3

enter this sig into a forum competition.
wish me luck !

anyway,
can't wait till it shows again.


actually wanted to do superman returns,
but here's been 2 entries bout superman.
so yeah,
spideyman.




school still sux.
test test test.
coming soon.
orh !
test test test test.
4 tests.
damn it.







still missing the way we used to be princess.

ang kong siao.

chuanzhi.
-tattooed.


large : http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f316/herbertism/czfinal.jpg

the spider on the chest if fuktub i know : /
lazy to do remove it.
oh yea,
i owe u an abs cz.
just hold on a lil while =P

jessica alba.
-tattooed too !


large : http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f316/herbertism/jessicaalba.jpg

not very satisfied with the results.
but here it is anyway.











miss you lots princess.
what happened had punched a hole in both our hearts.
i know,
let time heals us.
for i will be right here,
waiting.....
these weeks without you.
are empty.
i fell so hollow inside.
but deep inside.
there's always you.
that smiles at me.
no matter how painful my heart tears.
you're deep there.
smiling back at me.
and i'll always remember.
the smile that brings me my happyness.
nothing,
but you.
nobody else,
but you.

fuktub atm machine.

this is the most fuktub dbs atm machine i've ever seen ever.
in dover.





school still sux.
no matter how interesting the subjects are.
morning lessons sux big time.

my whole body is in pain.
years after not playing badminton.
damn !
but badminton is fun!

physically in pain...

emotionally too......

with school now....

my misery is complete :)
mentally worn out.







i want the way you used to be back princess.
miss her.

school.

received 2 emails from the school regarding my attendance.
=(

so i went to see the person in charge yesterday.
told them i got sleeping and waking up problem.
they feared i got insomia.
i guess i do.
and was asked to see a doctor.

thanks but no thanks.



subjects from semester 5.

business law - great lecturer :)
elynn's new crush too !
lol
whatever happen to mr. chua huh ?

imec - FUCKED UP LECTURER.
yes i still hate you so so so so so sooooo fucking much patrick no brain.
you still teach like shit.

macro - hermmmmm.....
guess the lecturer is fiercely good.
somehow can understand.

lessons that i have to retake :(

business finance - DAMN !
guess gotta practise more !

qtqm - you're still lazy mr.whoever.
yes, you're still as lazy.
and your lessons still cannot be understood.
lucky you give exams questions to us.
oh yea,
this is the 2nd semester you're teaching me.
and i still can't remember your name.


on the other hand,
this busyness is good.
i guess,
means i'll have plenty of things to do.
5 subjects.
4 freaking projects.
that's just mad.
tests coming soon !


i guess i'm enjoying school.
but still gotta cure this waking up problem.
and the sleeping.
love sleeping late.
what should i do ?


gotta go head for the bed.
last semester guys !
enjoy !







doozing off while waiting.
i was so freaking tired !
miss you lots princess.
can't wait till i can again, properly talk to you.
really miss those voice.
and your cuteness.
have a great sleep princess.
love you,
always :)

another manipulation !

fwah...
this one took bout 2 hours.
if i were to count the time i search for the sources.
then i think it'd be bout like 3 hours plus.
damn !

nevertheless,
bout 70% satisfied.
so a pass.


larger pic : http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f316/herbertism/halfmehalfhorse.jpg

this is what you do when you're bored =P.








- sorry princess.

cyborg again !

been some time since i last manipulate a picture.
so yeah...
here it goes.




larger size : http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f316/herbertism/cyborgmefinale.jpg

there's some mess around my hair still which i'm too freaking lazy to further edit :(
anyway...
tag yea =P



on the phone with princess XD
love ya !

when long distance is not distance enough

it's been 13 months.
we've never fail to talk to each other every single day.
except for that week i was in malaysia and that few days u were away.
even when we quarelled.
we do talk.
i could say.
we've talked for a year, 12 months, every single day without fail.

when the distance separating us is not distance enough...
you started working.
no..not on a day job.
i have not much say.
i don't even have a say.
it's 3.30 am and you're not home.
i'm having morning school now princess.
and most of the time,
afternoon class too.
i gotta wake up at 8 every single morning now.
and you know i got problems waking up early.
i've overslept so much.
skipped so many lessons.
the school had mailed me twice,
called me and even leave a mailbox three times.
all regarding my attendance.

i can't say anything.
you're happy.
you like being busy.
you wake up when i'm in school.
leave home when i reach home.
don't you feel we're separating further apart ?

i wait.
will always.
every single night.
to just talk in ease with you.
no matter how tired i am.

i remembered.
i was so tired,
i slept a little bit while we talked.
i kept shaking my head to stay awake.
i sat up.
i stood up.
just to keep awake.
the next day,
i was so tired.
nothing went in my head.

it is painful.
very.

it's only yesterday that i couldn't stand the tireness that i slept.
and i miss you so bad already.
and now..
this moment..
you tell me that i can't even call you in ease ?
i have to call you with the noisy surrounding ?
you know,
you know me.
i don't even like talkin to you with the music on.

sometimes,
it's just so hard.
and you tell me you can't feel me anymore.
not like you used to.......

i've never mind to pay those bills.
i've never mind at all.
just to stay in close contact with you.
never...
not in my nightmare.
that i dreamt we're so far apart.

i remember princess,
you used to bug me every single time.
every single msg you'll reply right away.
when you're bored.
thou,
may be i'm selfish.
but i loved it that way.
not to wait for your reply hour after hour.

i don't blame you.
it's not like i can do anything.
i can't be there.
in person,
to accompany you all the time.
you have to do what you've got to do.
and i'll just have to wait.
hour...
after hour...
for my cute little princess to be home.
even if i can't talk to you.
at least i'll know.
you're safe.
and home.
then will i be able to sleep in ease...

i still do love you.
it still feels that strong.
stronger.
then when it all started....
339 days ago...........

a layout by me !

i designed a layout for my fren.
check it out at

www.methamorphosa.blogspot.com

well,
u can defintely see the resemblance from my own blog's layout.
she wanted a white base.
and i can't think.
anyway,
of course added some other variation to it.
and btw,
the banner i did for her.
is a self taken pic in medan !
and the clouds back there.
is edited - taken from a pic princess took :D
anyway,
do comment.
:P




work hard princess !
no more boring days for ya !
kisses and hugs :)

something i can bitch about :P

no pics thou...
only vids.








13 months tomorrow princess.
falling in love all over again with you each passing day.
*kisses and hugs*

the trip part 2.

lots of pics ahead.

genting.



we were to wait at the lobby while mum settle the hotel arrangement.
we arrived 1 day earlier.
i just can't help but smile at the pic of bro.
he'll always be my little brother.

gabo and i further explore the hotel,
we first entered ripley's believe it or not.
while bro and sis visited the scariest place in malaysia.
that's wad they say la.
when we enter later...
it was nothing.

anyway,
the most amazing thing i found there was this.



believe it or not ?

man..i thought i was FAKE !
like i've seen pictures of it la.
but it's at ripley's man.
and all those at ripley's are supposed to be real right ?
like they exists right ?
wtf ?
it was written there that these "mermaid"
has a head of a monkey with a body of a fish.

i still find it hard to believe it till now.
how the hell does this thing can exists in the world ?
like ?
we've never seen pictures of them.
only these skeleton.
we've seen dinosaur's pic.
but none of this..

ok back to the trip.



well,
a castle made of match stick.
this is so much more believable lah.



at ripley's toilet.
LOL.
a woman shitting.

believe it or not ?



BAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA

there was also a chair that said " the luckiest chair in the world".
which really work !
believe it or not !
man...that very night,
gabo and i tried to enter what genting is famous of.
the casino.
and we went in smoothly without being questioned or what la.
and won !
ok ok.
just RM150 la.
but at least won something lah.
then the next day and the day after,
we were stopped at the entrance.
for all 3 entrances that the casino has.

genting day 2.
genting theme park day.

man..it was fun!

again,
thriller rides.



5 times on those.
SHIOK !



that was the 2nd time.
bro was afraid.
LOL.
we figured out where's the camera and we pose!



the last time,
on the first chair ( i dunno what's the thing u sit on called lah ).
on the first row lah.
even better.
all 4 of us.



gabo and i.
one time on that thing.
those thing let u sit on some "chair" again.
and brings u up...
all the way up up up.
and drops u down again.
those kinda thing.
u know...

and 2 times on this.



we had to pay for this.
it's not included in the theme park thing.
so only 2 times.
or else i think i'd had ride it 5 times too !

that was the first time.
again,
bro was afraid.
he basically did that throughout the ride.
HAHAHAHAHHA.



second time.
everyone smiling :)



on the very first roller coaster in malaysia.
some small roller coaster shit.
i think we sat there like...
5 times also ?
or more.
really like nothing.
i can even bring my cam and cam whore on it !



rock climbing the next day.

and a little souvenir from genting.







- living in a live in the love of princess.
love you princess.
thanks for your care for all these times.
forever yours.

6 cities trip part 1

well...the hols over.

medan - penang - KL - genting and lastly, back in spore.

touched down medan on the 25th.
then stayed home.
packed.
left for penang on the 26th.
with,
mum, sis, bro and my cousin, gabo ( gabo is just what we usually called him ).




penang.



it was his very first time on a plane.
and it was also his very first time getting out of indonesia.
it was great as we was welcomed by the beautiful scenery from the plane.
it was also my first time there after 5 years.





we touched down.



went for dinner with dad's fren who fetched us.
and left with a bus to KL at night.
the day after was sunway !



lots of thriller rides followed.
each like 2 to 5 times we sat.
man it was FUN !




















don't he look muscular right here ?