Monday, May 30, 2005

time...

been having the best days of my life for the past few days...not till tonight
been having really such a great time with her.
been plannin stuff and all...

fuck it

it fuckin break my heart thinkin bout how little time left i have in medan.
why must this happen all over again....

screw it all.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

SIM

school
wo hoo....very near
1st july - comin soon !

man...this is how i got myself into SIM

one fine saturday night.

dad : " so, u sure the polys won't accept u ?"
me : "don't know lah...sure won't one lah"
dad : " then what...u cannot possibly continue ur studies here.u can't even understand the newspaper here for nuts"
me : " don't know lah " ( in an annoyed tone )
dad : " how can u everything also don't know don't konw...it's ur future and bla bla bla bla bla " ( starts nagging )
me : " i already tried my best lah...still cannot then what can i do " ( a lil fucked up )
dad : " i heard there's this "schools exhibition" in tiara conventional hall "
me : " k la...i go now " ( i was tired but i just wanna escape )
dad : " u betta go right away...don't go else where...must know what's more important than what "
me : " YA LAAAAA "

and off i go...to my friend's house.
i was fucked up.
i was damn sure no polys will accept me which is true. they all said
"sorry...your 'don't know what fuck' is unsuccessful"
i was fuckin stressed up.
i was motherfuckin lost.
i don't know what else to do.
i can't possibly start work now.
i still wanna study !
i'm still not ready for the fucked up workin world and i don't think i will ever be.

anyway..after stopin at my friend's house for some fucked up times...i eventually went there. surveyed the area.
they offered quite a few schools la.
inti uni in malaysia
monash uni in m'sia
SIM which i didn't even stop by and ask for info
and many more....
went home with thoughts of goin to monash.follow andrias there.
at least i'll still have a fren dere la.
and even more fucked up thoughts about my future.

the next day, dad and i went to the convention hall again.went around.asked around.and there we was...stopin at SIM and talked....
fuckin expensive.
so we went home...dad was already plannin on sendin me off to KL.
okay...now i have a light of future.
but a fuckin degree form KL will do no good.went to sleep with even more fucked up thoughts.
i'm a person who SERIOUSLY FUCKINGLY THINK A LOT...WAY FUCKIN TOO MUCH...
and thus, had a sleepless night.
next morning...dad called tellin me that SIM will be a better choice.
asked me to go to the convention hall AGAIN to ask for even more information and if i'd be accepted with my results.so off again i went.this time with my fuckin embarrasssin o level results.
got back with even more fuckin questions ringing my head.
so expensive. now business so fucked up.and i begin to think that i'll be fuckin selfish if i were to still go. selfish as in....dad will have to work extra hard.mum will be stressed out with the decreasin financial...bro and sis would be able to buy more things..as in spend more.
i compared the cost for monash uni and SIM. it's :
4 years in monash + accomondation = SIM 1 year
which equally means
1 fuckin degree in monash = i fuckin diploma from SIM

it was paranoid.

talked to dad about the cost and all.and still dad insists that i continue in singapore on the condition that i will have to REALLY STUDY and of course not spend unneccasary money which means no more CDs, no more wakin up late den have to taxi to sch and which also definitely means that i'll have to STUDY SUPER EXTRA HARD for accounts.

then i was accepted liao.
funny.
i don't even know WHERE THE FUCK THIS SCHOOL IS !!
i don't even know THEY EXISTED TILL THIS FUCKIN YEAR
and yes.like i've expected.
i'll live somewhere near the school. which is at clementi.
a whole new fuckin environment.
4+ years in singapore and i don't even think i've ever step on clementi before.

but however, i'm still lookin forward to it.
i know everythin will be new...
no more wakin up late ( no slpin late )
no more car ( this especially )
no more nothin to do time
no more slackin the whole fuckin day in front of the tv and have a movie marathon that exploded my speakers.
no more hangin out with backstabbers, untrustworthy, assholic friends ( exclude my cousin, jack, aman and a few more )
no more poolin anytime i want
no more secret trips to brastagi and the beach...
no more jilly
no more mum's naggin
no more discussin business wif dad.
no more foolin ard shoppin malls as if they were mine
no more disturbin unknown girls
no more "my paradise" ( that's the name of my room k )
no more sleepin anytime i want....have i mentioned this ?

MAN !! I'M SO GONNA MISS ALL THIS !!
i've gone tru so much shit this year ( from last march till this march ) that sometimes i feel like escaping away...feel like startin afresh.
may be this is the time.
15 months of diploma in management studies
2 or may be 3 years more of a degree in business admin ( marketin ) or marketin
den work 2 years - save - another dunno how many years for mba
den buy a house in singapore
work a few more years - save -
come back medan for good wif savings.
start a business back home
marry
have kidsss
and die in peace

if this is gonna happen...i'd be 40 when i'm married
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
that's a fuckin no way for my mum...

once i told mum that i'll only get married when i'm over 32 and she starts naggin about dunno what which indirectly means that she'll want me to have babies soon (definitely after i can earn my own bux )

so yeah...1 year in medan
and i feel i'm more social now.as in....i'm more ready to start a conversation with strangers anytime any place. which is a good thing for me.

learned what friends really means
miss u guys
and i will buy the balls when i have $$.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

nice day

it was a nice but tiring....definitely...day indeed !

Budi Murni...one of the schools here in medan held a fuckin great performance last night.
i went cause J and her friends enrolled in one of their events... - the dance competition event.

it was a charity kinda event la...where all the collected entrance fee which is 2 bux for each person will be donated to those in Nias...

ermm..it began with a fuckin hot weather with fucking lauzy bands SHOUTING instead of singing some fuckin pathetic unknown songs. then some lauzy dancers went on stage and dance like fuck..no energy no talent and just like fuck lah..

then it rained !!
BOOO !!
so we waited like damn long loh..
i went home..sent my friend home and had dinner.
by the time i got back to the school..the rain had stopped and the weather was damn chilling...nice loh

the last few performances that i had a chance to see was great !
a local band went on stage...the stage was huge.the biggest stage i've ever seen in person loh..and this local band can actually sing !!
i was kinda bored lah because they began with a malay song.but had good voice and they're not those mats loh !! more or less like rahmat style lah..they got mix with chinese and all

then the song came...LINKIN PARK'S SONGs...the guitar was perfect..bass was good..drums were great and the DJ WAS MARVELLOUS...they played the song live as if they weren't actually playin the song...like just usin the cd and they sing along but that's impossible lah...it was live...and coz the stage was like one person high which makes them on top and us below..it then came to me as if i was attendin a concert !! the lighting was good also loh..and their voice too..this band was actually SINGING..of course the chester wanna be doesn't have the as good golden voice as chester but he sure can sing numb damn well. and as the song came in...i..unknowingly walked myself nearer to the stage to join the crowd..and backed off a lil bit to avoid the jumpin crowd..then 3 dance performances, one of which was J's group and the results were out.J's group came out second ! and they ended off with a local breaker performing their breakdance skills..they actually impressed me at first as they came in one by one summersaulting...then their skills..and it become boring when i notice that they've been repeatin the same stunts most of the time.and i went home with J.had dinner with her in the car.quite pathetic i know..but i was good.it was a lovely day for me lah.


and NOW IT HAD TO END WITH MY COMPUTER BREAKING DOWN !!
FUCKING INTERNET EXPLORER GOT FUCKIN SO MUCH PROBLEM WHICH LEAVES ME WITH NO CHOICE BUT TO USE THE FUCKING LOW TECH PENTIUM 3 COMPUTER AT THE OTHER OFFICE AND WHICH MAKES ME WAIT 10 MINS FOR EACH FUCKIN CLICK I MADE...AND I DON'T FUCKIN CARE IF I'VE REPLIED MY FS MSG OR NOT...FUCKIN PAGE LOAD LIKE DAMN FUCKIN LONG AND THE FUCKIN DEGUD FUCK KEPT COMIN OUT...AND OK..IF THIS THING GOT HANG AFTER I CLICK THE PUBLISH POST BUTTON THEN FUCK INDONESIA INTERNET CONNECTION.FUCK INDOSAT AND FUCK THE ASSHOLE WHO SPREAD THE RUMOUR THAT 05-05-05 WILL BE A FUCKIN DISASTEROUS DAY FOR MEDAN

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

there are rumours........that

the rumours.......
jialat
unbelieveable
just crazy lah


the rumours are like this......

somewhere in north sumatra, there was a mother who borned a baby that could talk right away he was borned !!
it reminds me of buddha.lOL.
anyway the conversation went on like this.... :

baby borned and put by the side of his mum : "ma...when u gave birth to me, does it hurt at all ?"
mum confused : " it hurts "
baby : "then, this 05-05-2005 will be much more painful in medan"

and the baby died not long after saying his last words.

sounds like some myth or just a typical made up stories lah.
but again i've heard that some taiwanese guy had informed a few medan guys that yes...tomorrow there will be a disaster hittin medan.however, that taiwanse guy was just predicting.he's not some meteorogical or geographical or wadevahical bastard.

so like everybody in medan now is like...

"JIA LAT JIA LAT....TOMOLO EARTHQUAKE AH"
"MIA CAI TSUNAMI AH"

and bla bla bla

anyway....if it really happens....and i died during the disaster..
those readin this please help me send my regards to everyone i know. :) hehe
bye bye

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

settling down....

time flies man...

i wanna be here longer !! but at the same time i wanna be back to singapore alreadi !!!

herm.....why do i keep thinkin bout her ?
khao peh...fuck it anyway
just a month + away nia.no chance to have a relationship and i'm tryin VERY HARD not to have feelings either.aiz...

anyway.my school will be in clementi and yes most prob i'll be stayin nearby there.
currently will be stayin over at my fren place.some fren from medan.who's already there lah.working alreadi and has a condo.so i'll be stayin over at her condo for my first few months there while i try to find other place for rent.that means....since she talks to my mum..like always....means kinda bad news la.
freedom will be siezed.na beh
no more tanah merah nights.....

Sunday, May 01, 2005

wah.......sian

sian loh....

went to the party just now and went home like halfway tru partying
why ?

cause like some bastards came.
those bastards "were" my friends....and we're like havin some fucked up issues
so to avoid fights..i left

I'M FUCKIN BORED