me

can't sleep.

don't know how to start but i think there's a lot of things that's like running tru my mind now.
one of which is definetly my sleeping disorder.
i had just recieved a letter from SIM this afternoon.they congratulate me which brings of course to the good news that i'll be joining their school this coming first of july.a mere two months away from today.
joined TBI which stands for T-idon'tknowBRITISHdon'tknow for their eilts class.i'm the only male students out of 5 students.how fun is that.2 chicks,one minah and one ugly duckling.
I FUCKING NEED TO CHANGE MY FUCKING SLEEPING HABITS !!!!

i hate my life now for that but i just can do nothing about it.

my everyday will be like...i wake up at 5p.m. and sometimes even up to 7p.m. have dinner, sit around the living room....play ps wif bro..come online for a few mins...then go back to my room by around 10p.m. and then i'll slack till 6 a.m. watch spongebob and sleep.
"slack" time is normally me playing ps tru the nite or i'll read.
but now i've got no fuckin mood to read AT ALL eventhough there's like a DOZEONDOSEONDOZEAETWGKDAH;AJKFDG;AJDG;AJSGDAOOONSSANDTONNESSSSSSSSSSS of materials i have in my fucking DIRTY room.i'm even so lazy to pack up my room.
i need to have a normal life again.
i go out so much less often now.my circle of friends are fucked up.
and now i'm like """"""""""""""""""""""""""fallin in love""""""""""""""""""" with a girl.a local celebrity i suppose.a good real life singer.a student still.and is like so fucking well known in medan that even i get stares when i walk beside her in the mall.unattached.suddenly always msg me when she has balance.but i think she's just being the friendly her.and i don't even think that i love her but i just can't stop thinkin bout her.she is my ex primary school classmates.go back mixing with her about a month or two ago.and have been like "close" but not that close but like 0.5% closer than normal friends would be.and i don't even know if she treats me just like any of her normal friend or.......and yes i would fucking love to go after her...and be with her cause be both just click like hell.
........i'm going singapore
........she'll be leaving medan for jakarta after she finishes her school this year....
and i """think""" that i wouldn't be bored of her in 3 months time
it means that i'll be kinda "serious" with her and try not to play her..
but FUCK IT...
just fuck it....

i'm paranoid
i'm going crazy
i need to change
i'm mad
fuck it