alone

why do i feel this.
why do treat you this way now.
i used to be different.
you are my queen.
and i'd do whatever you want me to do.
i'd agree on whatever you want to do too.
but now.
it feels like i'm in a relationship.
with a shadow.
i keep myself free.
i don't go out.
it's all for you.
i sit by this chair from the moment i wake up.
till i sleep.
and no matter how my leg aches from sitting.
i'd still be here.
i'm just hoping.
really just hoping.
that u'd come.
u'd finally tell me u're free.
i know,
u keep urself busy so that u won't miss me so badly.
so that you won't be rottin at home.
but girl,
i never have you.
when u're busy.
there's even no single news from you.
i can imagine.
if u'd be busy the whole freaking day.
it'll just means.
i won't have you the freaking day.
you don't even ask me have i eaten.
what am i doing.
and now.
you're not even free on your sundays.
i can only have you at night.
those moments before you sleep.
just listening to your sleepy voice.
and when i need you so badly.
u'd be tired from your day.
and head for your bed.
and i'll be all alone again.
do you even think of me when you're busy doing your things.
am i in your heart when you're too engross doing your thing.
i don't feel so.
you're haunting me.
it's been 4 monhts.
close to 5.
that we don't see each other.
you said you miss me.
you always say you need me badly.
you say you can't sleep thinking of me.
you make me feel.
you only do feel this way when you're free.
when there's no one around you.
i got home immediately after school every single day.
i left, 15 mins before school starts.
i waited.
till mornings.
i am here.
waiting...
always will be.
eventhough, i know.
no matter what i do.
u'd can be here for me.
no matter how much tears i shed.
u'd be free for me.
i am still here...
hoping.
for that moment to come.
when i can have you.
just for that single moment.
just for that single second.
when you're totally mine.
and nothing bothers us.
this tears will keep flowing.
this pain will be always around.
for as long as i miss you.
for as long as...i hope
and wait
for your presence.
for you
to come to my world.
and save me from this loneliness.