life's a gamble ain't it ?

everyone and every souls has always have the freedom to choose. it does't matter ur gene or the culture you're brought up in. u're freedom determines. your choice is always the final saying. whatever problem u have the ending solution will still be within u urself. ur choice.....

shape ur character...
identity is destiny

do a bit of thinking...
the significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinkin we were at when we created them.

and choose ur path,

as we voyage along through life,
'tis the sea of a soul
that decides its goal,
and not the calm, or the strife.


your life is in your own hand and your playing small doesn't serve the world.

cig bert ?

i fucking trust scientists and i'm a fucking fool if i were to smoke again !!

well, ok..though i'm still a fool but at least now i'm controllin myself to 2 a day.
sometimes 0 a day.
the most is 5. compared to a pack last time
i still haven't wash my hand off cig
but it's good that it's a history of mine to go to a shop and buy a pack...

i buy per stick here...

the case if i were to be in singapore then i don't know.
i just hope i can stop
i want to stop
something inside me is forcing me to stop
but this is the fucking 4th time i'm trying
will it work ?

so far so good that's all.
so far, this is the longest time i can tahan with 2 / day.
last time is 1 week record
now is almost a month

just hope nothing comes up and tempt me to buy another pack again...

wish me luck =D

u need differences in the world to make a difference for the world.

k, just finished readin sulin's entry about animal abuse...

then sulin i guess u should also know this. from one of the books that i've been reading...
ok so here the "story" goes.


there is a village somewhere in Israel. or somewhere in Arab or i don't know, she never mention for fear that people will go down to the road and start burnin the village down. ( i think )
so anyway, here in the village, there's a motherfucking custom. a custom where WOMEN AND GIRLS are worth less than animals. the father of this girl which is unfortunately BURNED ALIVE but miraculously survived and is now living somewhere in Europe had always been sayin these things to his daughters

"you know why u are worth less than my cow ? u think lor...cow produce milk, den can give birth to more cows and give me more milk which means i'll earn more money. but what can u give me ? worries !! nothing but worries !!"

the custom is something like this....
any woman that give birth to a girl means bad luck cause like i said a girl can bring trouble
a girl in that village cannot talk to ANY MAN and if some bitches there found u're talkin to one...the next thing u know is you'll be killed in the name of honour.
a girl in that village have to walk FAST and cannot LOOK UP..they have to look down to the floor.
a girl in the village cannot go to school
and there's many more fucked up customs
so whichever girl that give birth to a son will be admired and congratulated by the rest of the family..
a son in that village is KING ! like their fathers because the laws there are simply made by MEN

a day without a beatin ( the girl ) is VERY UNUSUAL.
they are beaten everyday be it for returnin home late ( they go take the sheep to the field ) be it for spillin a DROP of rice be it for wakin up late be it for havin a dirty shirt or simple because they picked a green tomato YESTERDAY !

so this girl was burned alive because she eventually had sex before marrige. and accordin to their custom too. their father has to marry off their first daughter then the 2nd in order. so the 4th one cannot marry before the 3rd one is married off. and she just cannot tahan to get out of the blardy house as she's damn afraid that one fine night his father will just enter her room and killed her because that his own brother had killed her younger sister for some unknown reason. and her mother had suffocated her newborn baby because she borned a girl and IT'S NOT A FUCKING CRIME IN THAT VILLAGE.

a girl can be just killed too because of the rumours the neighbour said. meaning they are killed for doing NOTHING. and many more !!
go read SOUAD BURNED ALIVE for more details =p

ain't that worst than abusing animal ?

rich girls...

k so what can the rich girls do for me ?
obviously a she's not giving me allowances and all
but..............

1. hey, i'm sick and tired doin those payin i have to do whenever i'm out with a gal !.. so, being poorer than she is i can just tell her that i'm broke and all...then she'll do the paying !! horay !! so firstly, i can eat for free at 5 stars restaurants...i can watch movie for free and if i'm lucky...she might even buy me some clothes man !! anyway, if you're that thick skin enough she basically won't mind doin all the paying...and i'm that thick skin k...anyway, why must all the dates be paid by the "male" gender ? why can't female pay once in a while man ? because your mother tought u so ? or because your grandpa had been doin that since he was 10 ? i think if like i pay for the 1st date then 2nd date she pay like an individual once will be the best...or you can always go dutch....anyway, she's payin now =P

2. pre-paid phones are much more popular here in medan than plan kinda type. 1st because u get free incomin calls for using pre-paid and they have beautiful promotions once in a while..unlike plans....so yeah man...i'm using a pre-paid card and guess what ?
she's the one doing the callin !! all these while man !! ain't that good ?
and in common, the rich girls are the one buyin up the top up cards once we finished the balance
think of it man....you can call whoever and msg whenever u wish for free !!! why ?
she's the one payin for u
ain't that great ??

3. she buys u expensive presents....expensive couple rings......

4. well if i were to fuck her....then she'll be god damn mine...forever, well if she's a virgin when i fuck her...and u know what this means ?? this means if i were money face enough and asked her for a fuckin car...she'll fucking buy me a car u know ??
and anyway she's an only child, and well i were to fuck her and got unlucky...she get pregnant may be...which mean then i'll have to marry her....being an only child...it's an obvious thing that her dad's whatever factory and business will be mine if he pass away..meaning.......
instant success !!
instant position...and you're instantly the boss !!!
how's that balls...

i think these 4 reasons are good enough on why a lot of medanese boys are after rich girls man..anyway, if you are readin this and u think that i'm gonna do all this to you...then u better think twice girl...you know who i am from all that years we've been together..okay as friends =D
it's up to u to decide on whether i am such a person on not.....
i'm just postin this up for the evil herbert to let all his evil wishes go to some place and that's the actual fucking fact that my friends are talkin about...
they were preachin about how lucky a bastard i am.....anyway, who cares what i really feel...

anyway, back to my life again...
i was at video ezy just now...the vcd rental place and actually had got to know the girl working there for some time lah...kinda close as friends on meetings..and you know what they were watchin on the big tv screen ?
"I NOT STUPID" yes that one year ++ old jack neo show so anyway i decided to rent that vcd....for my sister lah

"na hia limpei kali konG ah"

and i was thinkin....after the show.man, i really enjoyed that past hour watchin this stupid fucked up show man..afterall, singapore is a nice coutry to live in anyway...btw, i was debatin with my tutor about how bad a country singapore is to start a fucking business earlier on..

huifen : money doesn't talk in singapore as much as in medan does..money here talks in every fucking aspects of life here....can you bribe the fucking police away after killin your mother in singapore ?


something deep in me is tell me right now.....
however much i love this hometown of mine
i still miss my life in singapore afterall
i still miss those places friends and i hang out afterall
and i miss those times........

to love...or to be loved ?

should i keep on lookin for my love or shall i just stop now ?

anyway, here's a typical description of the teenage relationships here in medan
...down here at medan, for the guys. if you have $$..it's a god damn thing that the gals will do the chasing.
anyway, money really talks here.in every aspects of life in medan. money talks. if you're a god damn rich girl, an only child too, i'll for sure chase after u for a short time relationship. of course, to cheat ur money. well, my friends do that. and so their thinkin is just this.
find a fucking only daughter of a rich family. fuck her so she'll be yours. you don't need to make her pregnant. just fuck her.
there are couples here who actually don't look for money as the reason of their relationship. i have a friend who's together with her gf for 7 fucking years. since secondary school till now. and a few more cases of that too.


k so, i have this girl. an only child. rich. and claimed that she loves me. what's love anyway.
but i don't know whether do i love her or not as i'm currently kinda lazy to be committed, kinda lazy to be in a relationship.
what should i do ?
do i have to follow the typical hope of any medan guy...i've got what everyone wants here and i'm a dumb asshole if i let her go....
or i wait till the moment come when i'm ready to be committed again ?


or may be...all this relationship stuff at this age is crap ?
anyway, she's older than me a couple of years



by the way, there were 2 damn fucking beautiful chicks i saw just now. man...i should go out more now man !! medan do have FUCKING BEAUTIFUL GIRLS also leh. all the while i thought all typical one...rebonded hair, same style of hair and all.......
there are beautiful girls =D

a new blog

....man..the previous blog is givin me a headache...
i had actually blogged 300++ times...lol
so the uploading now takes time
therefore, i've created a new blog at the dashboard
anybody know how to delete a blog ?