why would they ?
when i changed 4 girlfriends and was close 2 other gals in less than a year's time ?
that was before her.
now that i've known her and i have her.
nothing else matters.
besides my studies and family.
jilly themin.
funny how our names connect.
herbert johan.
herbert and jilly
H J
jilly themin
johan and themin
JT
i'm still searching for an answer.
the answer to.
why do i love ?
well, it's only close to two months.
but there's something in me that tells me that i'm dead serious.
this is nothing i've ever experienced before.
she ain't perfect.
but i do love her.
and i know i've posted many entries on how i said i love this gal and that gal.
hope this will be the last entry that i'm postin.
hope she's the last girl in my life.
first girl in medan.
K.
broke her off because i met V.was seriously playin around with K.
K was serious.very indeed.that she's still now heartbroken because of what i did.
how i know ?
from friends.from what i see.and from she herself.
i broke her off end of last year.
about 10 days before i go after V.
V.
got together with her on the 01.01.2005 at 01.10 a.m.
i was havin a doubt she was the one that time.but i was ready to commit.i was ready to be serious.broke her off due to some misunderstanding and the realisation that she can't be the one no matter what.
L.
i was serious with her.
but still, not as serious as for now.L was a purely innocent girl.never kiss, never been touch, never even hold hand with another guy.i am her first.
she was serious bout me.
i could still cleary remember what she told me.
L : "bert, i a person who don't believe in god.i don't trust my parents.but i believe in u, and i trust u"
that sounds as if she worship me.lol.
but she meant something else.
i'm important for her.
she said
i brought her to a land of her freedom.where she can share every single thing under the sun with me.do things that she've never even dream of doing.i wonder if that was love.but yes, i treated her well.not towards the end.
we had problems with her parents.
her mother in particular.
i loved her.
but the moment i brought her to bed.i knew, she's not the one for me too.i knew, i'm not dead serious with her.and then, everything change within me.
and i left.
i talked to her mum, first time for me.
i defended her.
i defended our relationship.
but, i know myself.
i wouldn't bring my girl to bed, and even if i do, i'll never do anything more than kissing.
i did more than that with her.
Y.
i don't know what came to my mind when i accepted her.
she said she was serious.she said i am the one.therefore, i tried to love her.but it failed.
and i left.
L. <>
i'm close to her.i tried to make her mine.but at that moment, i pulled myself back.she's a nice girl.i wouldn't forgive myself if i hurt her.anyway, i wasn't very sure if i was serious.
anyway, i was close with her somewhere last year.before i left for my o's here.she got back with her ex during my one month here.then i vanish.
and when she broke up with her bf.she find me back.and asked me, why didn't i ask her to be mine before i left.
and in the airport, before i left medan for SIM.she msged me, askin me if i were serious with jill.
i replied yes.
funny.
F.
a fucken rich girl.too rich that i was scared.
close.
very.
almost together.
but i left.she's too rich lah.
scared.
Jilly.
- i'm in love -
random pics :
well, i was truly disturbed by the ghost festival thingy.
i know it's not here yet till next month.
but i don't know why they're alreayd here.
it lasted for 3 damn days.
u know the noise.
the bangla settin those tent up.
at first, i thought they're settin up some pasar malam thing.
was glad.
though it'll be noisy.but at least, something to see in a new environment.
it was raining....poor bangla...
omg...
i forgot to take a pic of the opera.missed it.
this is how messy a man's room can get.
it's all cleared up.
i'm not that dirty.
it was in that mess bcoz i was busy when i first moved in.
now it's neat and tidy.
once, when i was tidyin up my room.
in the midst of cleanin up.there was this damn big spider that scrawled in my room tru the open window.
fucking big.
and yes.
poisonous.
it was not dead yet.
do u fucken believe that size ?
omg !
anyway...i caught it.
put it in that clear transparent plastic bag and examine it.
play with it.
it's poisonous, how i know ?
bcoz i saw the two wadeva u call that teeth.
and it actually "attacked me" inside it when i put a lil pressure on it's body.
some liquid came out.
and it produces some web in the plastic.
cute.
sorry mr.spider or mrs.
i broke off two of it's leg during the process of catchin it around my room.
then...i was damn du lan with my comp
it was that very same day that my comp was infected by some virus.
i kept it in the plastic bag and almost forgot bout it till it ran around inside makin some plastic noise.
havin watched constantine, i poser him.
i lit up my cig.and blew the passive smoke inside it.
after keepin the passive smoke inside the plastic, completely sealed with no possible air of goin in or passive smoke goin out for bout half an hour.
i released it.
it died.
rest in peace.
this is my work place
lol
ok..i caught and released a cockroach yesterday.never even take pic.lol.
it flew in tru the open window again.
wtf is wrong wif clementi uh ?
so many funny insects.
btw, my comp is 75% alright now.
yeah man.
blogskin to be change soon for clearer viewin of pic
- when i'm free lah den i change.
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