the good old days

there's nowhere else better to be than home.
i'm homesick.
really learned lots of things during my one year break there.well, not exactly a break la.cause got o's and stuff.but work, and everything else were simply great.
miss home.
i simply do.





i defenitely miss my car.



the first car that i drove.before the arrival of the honda city.


miss her.

a lot







hermm...the stuff that's been kililng me slowly.




my collections



lol






ain't this time nice ?

romantic...


home...


those riding days....
before i learnt how to drive




the accident cause that.
the scar...
both for my helmet and me



now my face.



melvin, my aunt's son
that was a year ago.



he's now able to walk eh...and talk a lil
...always call me by my name
no manners one.
nv call me kor...



i just like this shot



bored...dunno wad to do.
i'm a bit crazy lah



told u so...

then sometime back, forgot when.
family and i went to take family pic at citra.they were having some model competition.my mum asked me to join.i did.





first shots in the studio.
dunno what made them chose me again....









i was back as one of the finalists
lolololol.


enough for now...
more pics coming up

p.s. jack, i don't care...i'm gonna post up the pic that i took while u and ah liang were peeing...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA

girls in my life.

none of my indonesian friends believe i'm serious with her.
why would they ?
when i changed 4 girlfriends and was close 2 other gals in less than a year's time ?
that was before her.

now that i've known her and i have her.
nothing else matters.
besides my studies and family.


jilly themin.
funny how our names connect.

herbert johan.
herbert and jilly
H J

jilly themin
johan and themin
JT



i'm still searching for an answer.
the answer to.
why do i love ?
well, it's only close to two months.
but there's something in me that tells me that i'm dead serious.
this is nothing i've ever experienced before.
she ain't perfect.
but i do love her.
and i know i've posted many entries on how i said i love this gal and that gal.
hope this will be the last entry that i'm postin.
hope she's the last girl in my life.


first girl in medan.
K.
broke her off because i met V.was seriously playin around with K.
K was serious.very indeed.that she's still now heartbroken because of what i did.
how i know ?
from friends.from what i see.and from she herself.
i broke her off end of last year.
about 10 days before i go after V.

V.
got together with her on the 01.01.2005 at 01.10 a.m.
i was havin a doubt she was the one that time.but i was ready to commit.i was ready to be serious.broke her off due to some misunderstanding and the realisation that she can't be the one no matter what.

L.
i was serious with her.
but still, not as serious as for now.L was a purely innocent girl.never kiss, never been touch, never even hold hand with another guy.i am her first.
she was serious bout me.
i could still cleary remember what she told me.
L : "bert, i a person who don't believe in god.i don't trust my parents.but i believe in u, and i trust u"
that sounds as if she worship me.lol.
but she meant something else.
i'm important for her.
she said
i brought her to a land of her freedom.where she can share every single thing under the sun with me.do things that she've never even dream of doing.i wonder if that was love.but yes, i treated her well.not towards the end.
we had problems with her parents.
her mother in particular.
i loved her.
but the moment i brought her to bed.i knew, she's not the one for me too.i knew, i'm not dead serious with her.and then, everything change within me.
and i left.
i talked to her mum, first time for me.
i defended her.
i defended our relationship.
but, i know myself.
i wouldn't bring my girl to bed, and even if i do, i'll never do anything more than kissing.
i did more than that with her.

Y.
i don't know what came to my mind when i accepted her.
she said she was serious.she said i am the one.therefore, i tried to love her.but it failed.
and i left.

L. <>
i'm close to her.i tried to make her mine.but at that moment, i pulled myself back.she's a nice girl.i wouldn't forgive myself if i hurt her.anyway, i wasn't very sure if i was serious.
anyway, i was close with her somewhere last year.before i left for my o's here.she got back with her ex during my one month here.then i vanish.
and when she broke up with her bf.she find me back.and asked me, why didn't i ask her to be mine before i left.
and in the airport, before i left medan for SIM.she msged me, askin me if i were serious with jill.
i replied yes.
funny.

F.
a fucken rich girl.too rich that i was scared.
close.
very.
almost together.
but i left.she's too rich lah.
scared.



Jilly.
- i'm in love -



random pics :


well, i was truly disturbed by the ghost festival thingy.
i know it's not here yet till next month.
but i don't know why they're alreayd here.
it lasted for 3 damn days.
u know the noise.



the bangla settin those tent up.
at first, i thought they're settin up some pasar malam thing.
was glad.
though it'll be noisy.but at least, something to see in a new environment.



it was raining....poor bangla...



omg...
i forgot to take a pic of the opera.missed it.



this is how messy a man's room can get.
it's all cleared up.
i'm not that dirty.
it was in that mess bcoz i was busy when i first moved in.
now it's neat and tidy.


once, when i was tidyin up my room.
in the midst of cleanin up.there was this damn big spider that scrawled in my room tru the open window.
fucking big.
and yes.
poisonous.



it was not dead yet.





do u fucken believe that size ?
omg !
anyway...i caught it.
put it in that clear transparent plastic bag and examine it.
play with it.
it's poisonous, how i know ?
bcoz i saw the two wadeva u call that teeth.
and it actually "attacked me" inside it when i put a lil pressure on it's body.
some liquid came out.
and it produces some web in the plastic.
cute.



sorry mr.spider or mrs.
i broke off two of it's leg during the process of catchin it around my room.

then...i was damn du lan with my comp
it was that very same day that my comp was infected by some virus.
i kept it in the plastic bag and almost forgot bout it till it ran around inside makin some plastic noise.
havin watched constantine, i poser him.
i lit up my cig.and blew the passive smoke inside it.
after keepin the passive smoke inside the plastic, completely sealed with no possible air of goin in or passive smoke goin out for bout half an hour.
i released it.
it died.
rest in peace.



this is my work place
lol


ok..i caught and released a cockroach yesterday.never even take pic.lol.
it flew in tru the open window again.
wtf is wrong wif clementi uh ?
so many funny insects.

btw, my comp is 75% alright now.
yeah man.
blogskin to be change soon for clearer viewin of pic
- when i'm free lah den i change.

finally...

fuckin computer kana infected by some fuckin virus.
nvm.
i can survive with it.

point 1. i'm broke.
spent way too much.
fuck it.


pics :

the brastagi days.
cherisable moments before i left medan.
wished she was there with me too.
but only antony, andrias and aripin went along.
nevertheless.it was a fuckin good trip.


the fire place in the villa.anthony's mum's god mother's villa.one of the richest woman in medan i suppose.


seen a horse shit ?
this is it.
it's basically all over in brastagi.
lol.
they have lots of horses there.
in the process.i'm honoured to be able to ride on the horse owned by the owner of the villa.




learned a few tricks on how to ride by the guide.
pretty easy.


anthony bought 3 rabbits.this is one of them.
nice shot rite.
lol


i caught it and have a few snaps with them.



taken in the garden.


yup ! pool table in the villa !


this scenery is basically what i see once i open my eyes from sleep.



good life. i wanna stay there forever !



we visited the temple, then it rained.
andrias snap this from the car and i think it's a motherfucking nice shot.
no photoshop involved.


beach days.
with gabo,aman and jack.
the times i'll never forget for the rest of my life.
thank you guys for being there when i need.
thank you too guys for helping me for my "project 2" for jill became a reality.
thank you guys for everything.

pics :
beach trip 1 -


it all begin here.
the sleepy me drivin the 2 hours trip to the beach.
pondok permai beach.

but everything changed once we arrive.
prove ?
here...

that's jack laughin at don't know what i've forgotten.
but it must be something bout gabo and aman.


done to gabo's foot.

i know both seems to be his left leg.
but jack's suppose to be the right leg.he craved wrongly.


dunno what he's tryin to do.but i managed to get this funny snap.
he looked like he's pregnant.
lOL

gabo.


what's this ?
guess.


the 4 of us.
bottom left to right.
aman, gabo, me.
top is jack.


beach trip 2.
05.05.2005
everything was so much funner the second time we went there.
yesh..more pics

we didn't get ourselves wet the first time we went.so, we baked ourselves the second time we went.



the beach was like ours.


jack and i basically wrote our name there.that big.

then the chasing began.
no one wants to get wet first.
so we did this....



this

he's attacked by sand balls.
but...

that's what's friends are for.

finally all were wet.

we shot some vids
and pretend that we're dead.


lol



check this pic out.




we stopped for lunch.
hungry




very indeed.

then we dump the camera aside and really enjoy the afternoon out.


on the way home.






miss her a lot.
we're not even separated for a fuckin month.
but...
it hurts.
seriously.
and i don't fuckin understand why am i feelin like this.
retribution i suppose.
never had i been in love this way.
never had i gave in so much for a gal.
never.

can't believe what i've done.

i promised 4 things to her before i leave for singapore.
did them all.

first unbelievable thing.
-


each box contains 10stars.




each stars were written...


the keychain made of stars for her which broke in front of her house door.thus, to be completed all over agian.
gonna give her the next time i meet her.



comepleted all these by the 9th.05.05
then continue this.
her dancin costume for her graduation.
she was involved in one of the events during the graduation.
she sang and danced.

completed in a day.the 10th.


the front of the shirt.


the back.


2nd thing.


first night, first try.





the day before i lit them up for her.




behind the curtain.

3rd thing is without a pic.


4th is to made her mine.
and she's mine.

after all these....
i know, it's all worth it.
i know, she's the one i'll love today, tomorrow and till the day....only god knows.
no regrets.

miss home badly.
miss them badly.
miss jilly badly.