escaping reality 3

i've been meaning to update the blog for a while now but every single time i think about updating, the thought of processing the pics come into my mind and then the time matters later on. so most often, i'll just hush the thought outta my mind and get back to the notes as much as i could just to find myself watching friends all over again.

i've been hating staying home more and more, most of the time because of the blue blue sky out there that i have to face every single time i lift my head up from the notes. then i'll just move to reading the endless journals on the bed just to find myself sleeping with the notes, highlighters and pens soon after and then yeah with my face highlighted and scribbled with black and blue inks here and there. i kinda wonder did i like tasted them when i'm sleeping coz that'll be....gross ?

regardless, the other day, i took a while off shooting some water stuff from my dehumidifier thing and yeah...here it is






























































































































dad has come and left and we had a good son and father talk about me and the family and some business matters as well.
i think i found myself tearing a bit to sleep the morning he left, no i'm not ashamed to say this coz i kinda haven't been tearing for a while now and that tearing is healthy too
his visit this time left quite a huge impact in my journey to life
i felt much closer once again and i know how much he cares

i had just called the other morning prior to his visit to say that i'm totally unmotivated at all from all these notes and at my life
after years and years of having this "i-can-only-study-when-the-moon-is-up" this time round it got so worst that i literally switched over morning to night and vice versa and for once, i'm worried about my health and obviously when dad was over, he mentioned about it too, about how he kinda blamed himself a bit for giving me this kinda lifestyle and how he hated it. the best thing a son could ever get over his education will be when his parents simply say "don't force yourself too hard. don't be too hard on yourself, if u can't continue, then don't". it aches me every time he says that coz deep down, i know it's just not the matter of him giving me some form of "assurance" for my future but also it's gonna be his pride as well.

it's gonna be just less than a week before everything is over, the exams, and the self-prisoning at home. i haven't have been exercising, heck, i haven't even been walking expect the walk downstairs to buy my meals and to the toilet. the only time i stretch this leg out is either when i'm walking down / to the toilet or when i'm asleep and the rest of the time i'll be sitting here staring at the notes or watching some youtube stuff or browsing deviantart away. my spine kinda hurts a bit now and i'm terribly worried.

it's already the 4th.....just 4 more days
4 more days till the 8th
and everything will be over
and i'll be out shooting the shutters away

i miss home....